The untold story of my campus interview
I’m here.
In Mu Sigma.
In MSU.
As I write this piece, I am going through rounds of re-interviews.
In one such interview, the person sitting opposite asked me ‘Why Mu Sigma?’. To this I replied – ‘Because the person who interviewed me on campus, past 11 pm, asked me to write something and I chose to write about how I felt as I lived through the day that was’.
This piece starts off as an ode to that day, one where I discovered something about myself I didn’t know existed. The reason I feel the need to share this is because every day in Mu Sigma allows me to unravel a little more about me to myself. And, to experience ones ‘self’ in any journey is a gift.
REMINISCING THE DAY
There is a beautiful solace between the pen and the paper. One of the most beautiful relationships to ever exist. Every scratch of graphite is a word I sometimes wished I’d said out loud. Composing my life in prose and hiding it away is almost second nature now. But then life caught up with me, and said, “it isn’t possible to hide behind your stories all the time. Look at how vocal the world is.” I now had to put a voice to all those words I had so comfortably put down in my diary.
Campus interviews, I realized, put you in the spotlight and time and again, round after round I had to prove my worth. And I had to do it without my diary, my best friend.
Putting on my formals and deliberating a smile, I knew life had officially begun the pragmatic phase. Trembling from head to toe, I went in the hall to find out I had to write in the first test. I smiled inwardly.
Then I was put in a room full of strangers and friends alike. Relevant conversations and focused communication filled the air while I sat quietly wondering how to vocalize the thoughts in my head. And that’s when it happened. A finger pointed at me; I had no choice. I blurted out a word, two words, a phrase, and then a sentence. And I didn’t stop. I heard myself say things in a manner quite foreign to me. It was rational and firm. My voice wasn’t shaking; my hands weren’t trembling.
I realized, I had found courage. In all my life, of all the moments, this is when courage had decided to show up for me. By the time I’d finished, the room felt a little bigger.
And then wait for the final round, the one-on-one interview began. The evening felt long. 7 pm, 8 pm, 10 pm, 11 pm… and then it was my turn; the moment of truth. But I knew. I could do anything that day.
“It’s 11 in the night. Tell me something I won’t find in the paper you handed in while you came in”, a visibly tired but genial man told me as I entered.
A myriad of thoughts ran across my mind. I had brand new abilities I didn’t have five hours ago, let alone when I typed that single-paged resume proofing it to sound impressive. Impressive, to me, involved very different concepts now. Sitting on that couch and returning a serene smile across was impressive. Taking in the fact that every movement I made, every nervous twitch could be recorded and analyzed, and still smiling with the exact same serenity was impressive. Talking to the man in front of me and not having a single doubt in my mind was impressive.
“I write”, I finally said.
“Well, here’s a paper and a pen. Take some time and write.”
I smiled at the far-too-familiar sight.
It was reconciliation. I was home.
THE NEXT 10 MINUTES
There are times you aren’t really sure of yourself. These are times life beckons; it tests your bravery, your strength. They say courage isn’t the absence of fear. It simply means realizing that there exists something more important than fear. Today I realized, that there is. There’s something so calm about heading out in the spotlight; even though you know that a thousand watts are shining on you, you know you can make it.
You realize, like I did today, those thousand watts may highlight all your flaws, but the diamond inside you finally finds the light of day, only if you would let it be.
Courage feels beautiful. It bleeds on paper and seeps through souls. It makes you find home in places you’d never have imagined.
I’m sitting on a black sofa writing this while my hands shake in anticipation but I finally know what bravery feels like.
You simply need to close your eyes and embrace it.
A PIECE OF ME
I finish the re-interview, a tad annoyed with myself for not having taken a picture of this little piece of writing, but a big piece of me. Just then, the Talent Management team presents my file, and with it a piece of me.